Sometimes we don’t feel good about having sex or bad after we have had sex. People can get the idea that because they enjoy sex and then feel bad later they have sex addiction. If our upbringing or family or the dominant ideas around us have not been supportive of our sexuality, we may find it is difficult to be who we are!
If you feel bad about having sex, there are some things you can do.
- Get to know some other gay men or lesbians who feel good about their sexuality;
- Say to yourself that just because you enjoy sex, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you (for example, it doesn’t mean you are a sex addict);
- Start talking about sex to supportive people, even if it is anonymously on support forums;
- Remember that dominant cultural ideas have contributed to the way you are feeling, but alternative ideas about sex and relationships are just as valid;
- If you have experienced emotional abuse, sexual abuse or particularly childhood abuse, treatment or therapy might help you to enjoy sex and relationships.
A therapist or counsellor should not try to impose their own values and beliefs on you. But by asking questions and helping you explore your own values and commitments, hopes and plans, a counsellor can assist you to feel better about yourself and sex. Take a look
here at our sex section to find out more.
