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In the film Mulligans, Dan Payne plays Nathan, a father and husband who has been keeping a secret from his wife and children for 20 years. Nathan is gay. When Nathan's son invites a college buddy to stay for the summer, Nathan finds he can no longer suppress the feelings he has been hiding and the family must come to some new understandings.Nathan married his girlfriend because she became pregnant with their son when they were both in college. In the film he says "it seemed the easiest thing to do at the time". Many men who have been in similar situations tell their therapist or
counsellor that when they were married, it felt like the only option. Sometimes there was family pressure, sometimes they knew themselves to be bisexual or there was confusion about identity. Usually there was and still is love for the women they married. Now things have changed. Even in the last 20 years, living openly as a gay person has become easier in many countries, thanks to anti-discrimination laws and more widespread understanding that people do not choose their sexual orientation.
Women also form straight relationships with and marry men and later realize they are attracted to and want to be other women. Marriages between men and women where one (or both) partners know or later realize they want to be with someone of the same sex can be discussed with a therapist or
counselor and understood in many ways. Every relationship is different and by sharing thoughts, experiences and feelings we can develop new meanings about the choices we have made in our lives and the possibilities for the future.
If you are interested in seeing
Mulligans, you can watch the trailer on our
Gay Coming-Out Films page.
If you need support around being gay and married or in a straight relationship, take a look at our
Being Different, Feeling Good page which lists contact details for the
Gay and Married Mens Association, GAMMA.
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