Myths about Gay Relationships
One
of the special things about gay relationships is that they are much
freer of the expectations that seem to accompany heterosexual
relationships. Here are some of the myths about gay relationships that
we have 'busted'.
The partners in gay relationships don't have to take roles.
Some
people have the idea that in gay relationships one of the partners
always take a dominant and one a submissive role. This is not the case
and also a very simplistic way of looking at human relationships
generally. Some people may have a preference for a particular sexual
'role' and this may complement their partner's preference. Some people
choose to let their partner take care of financial matters in the
relationship. Every relationship is different and develops and changes
in time, just like people as individuals.
Gay relationships are not more likely to 'fail'.
While
being gay in a mostly heterosexual world can present challenges, these
do not mean that gay relationships are more likely to 'fail'. What is
the definition of 'failure' anyway? Is it to do with time? Does this
suggest an idea that a relationship should always stay the same?
Comparing a gay relationship with an ideal or the expectation that
comes with a heterosexual partnership may not be helpful. Here is a list of 10 Gay Dating Self-help books.
Gay relationships can be monogamous.
Perhaps
there is a greater expectation that heterosexual couples do not have
sex outside of their relationship and perhaps this is associated with
dominant expectations about child-rearing. Some gay couples choose to
be monogamous and sustain this decision because it is important to
them. Others make a decision not to be monogamous and remain a couple.
Gay relationships do not always just involve couples.
When
we talk about 'Relationships' it is often assumed we are talking about
a couple, 2 people. But why does the 'couple' seem to take precedence
over all other relationships in our lives? Some gay people have
relationships which are not sexual. Some have sexual relationships with
a number of partners.
What sort of relationship do you want?
If you are having difficulties in your gay relationship, you can speak to a counsellor
about these. If you are experiencing verbal abuse, threats, controlling behaviour or physical harm from your partner, take a look at our page about gay domestic violence.
Gay Dating Sites
Grindr
An international mobile smartphone app for gay guys
Gaydar
Popular in Australia and the UK
Gayromeo
Another one of the biggies, Gayromeo is popular in Europe.
Gay.com
Probably the biggest gay dating site, U.S based but caters to an international audience.
Aussiemen
An Australian site catering only to men.
Gay Dating for Older Gay Men
The Caffmos Community is a dating site for older gay men.
Tips for using gay dating sites:
- Protect your privacy
- Remain cautious
- Get a photo (of the person's face!)
- Talk on the phone first
- Take a friend along to a first date or meet in a public place
- Let someone know where you are going and who you are meeting
- Look out for scams
- Don't assume the person is being honest, especially about their health
- Click here for How to Protect Yourself on Grindr
Meeting people away from the Internet.
You
don't need to be online to meet someone for a relationship. Some people
prefer not to use internet dating sites. A lot of couples meet through
their work, social activities or other friends. Take a look at our
Making Friends section for more information. And here are our
10 best gay dating advice books.
Part of the fun of being gay is experiencing a relationship with someone else who is gay.