We can
make friends through our work, our family, through other friends, over
the internet and by going out and socialising on our own. In wanting to
meet other people to like us, we may forget who we really are or even
try to hide ourselves from others. Here are some things to consider
when you are looking for gay friends.
What interests you?
It
can be useful to make a list of the sort of things that interest you
and that you like to do. Knowing who you are and what you like is a
good starting point for building friendships. It means you can work out
where to look for other gay people who might share your interests. For
example you might really like playing tennis and enjoy going to the
cinema. Or maybe you are into fishing and buying collectables on ebay.
Gay people have all kinds of interests and there will definitely be
others out there who share yours.
What are your expectations of friendship?
We
can have all sorts of ideas about what a friend should be and how they
should treat us. Another question is what sort of friend are we going
to be towards other people? Remember others can find it difficult to
make friends as well.
What sort of relationship will you have with shyness?
If
Shyness has been a part of your life for some time, it is probably not
about to suddenly pack up and leave. What kind of relationship have you
had with Shyness in the past? If Shyness continues to be around, what
sort of relationship would you like to have with it? What purpose does
Shyness serve in your life? In re-assessing your relationship with
Shyness, maybe you will decide to strike a deal with it, manage it
differently or take more responsibility for it. These are things you
can speak with a counsellor about.
5 top tips for making friends
We asked some counsellors to provide their 5 top tips for making friends:1.
Talk to people. No one makes friends sitting alone in front of the TV.
Engage with other people in person or over the net and see what happens.
2.
When you meet someone face to face, try making eye contact and smiling.
it might be hard at first but when you start to practice it, it will
get easier.
3. Try to be reliable
and trustworthy. If these are qualities you admire in others then put
them into practice yourself. You will start to attract the right people.
4.
Be open minded but don't compromise your values. Everyone is different
so you are going to be surprised and perhaps shocked by the people you
meet. You can accept others and be open to new experiences without
having to sacrifice what is really important to you.
5.
Some of the best advice comes from those old sayings we here time and
time again. "You can't buy friends". "Be yourself". "Don't be a
doormat". Remember you know a lot already.
If you have read this and feel you are struggling, take a look at our Being Different, Feeling Good section.
But if you are ready to meet some new people and make friends, take a look at our Where To Meet Other Gay People page.
